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The novel (below) was my first book.

 

 

The non-fiction CanSir is my true story about how I processed my life in order to survive cancer. I recieved A review recently. If you would like to see what the reviewer said: 

http://www.shewrites.com/profiles/blogs/cansir-by-mitch-alexander-interview-and-review


 

This is the first children's book I completed. It is available NOW.  It's a compilation of stories about a boy named Montana Billings. (Also on Amazon)

Here is my author page with my publisher.

You can order your copy Today. 

 http://www.innerchildpress.com/mitch-alexander.php

 

Coming Soon


“Because I remember, I despair. Because I remember, I have the duty to reject despair.” Elie Wiesel

Despair is part of the process; first you despair over what you remember, then you despair over what you wish you could forget. You eventually decide not to give your power away. It never means memories are not worthy of your attention. Memories are and were valid. Whatever you remember is part of your story; it has value. Within your freedom to choose is your power. You did not always feel you had freedom of choice, did you?. Today you can choose how to handle your history. 

The terminology you use to describe that story is your choice too. It’s not just history, it’s also herstory. There are words that you may simply not use. Different words have different connotations for each of us. The power of choice works for vernacular too. Some families had code words for body parts or behaviors. The purpose was to obscure or hide behind erroneous actions. Those words may be ones you choose to avoid, or later, find humor in when the circumstances change. Some terms will remain abusive and you may simply avoid them.

Part of the point is, we all have our challenges. Words have power. I have suffered from stroke symptoms, so there are words that I simply cannot get a hold of. I know what they are or mean within my head, but I cannot access them. There have been times while writing that I have to type in the meaning of the word I am trying to reach. Half the time, the exact word, which was hiding in the recesses of my mind, is found. Sometimes I feel impotent when words escape me. I make it a point to keep trying. Sometimes a specific word has to be found within my head or by searching a thesaurus.

Obviously, if words have meanings, then thoughts have meaning. Might I emphasize feelings, too, have meaning. All aspects of the human experience, or more specifically, your experience, have to be reconciled for you to attain peace. Occupy your time with directed mental activity. That describes being mindful. Thinking and being mindful are not the same thing. I cannot tell you how that difference will look for you, but I have faith you will understand it. Being mindful is the continuous, stable part of being present. It is being aware of the space and time you occupy. Thinking is related more to completing a specific task.

I wrote on the subject of this quote and I messed up and saved over it and lost it. That was despair too. I did not know that losing a writing could be so upsetting. It truly felt like a part of me was gone. I have been struggling with the recurrence of cancer and still have the after effects of stroke symptoms. It is very upsetting to lose the ability to communicate as I once did. Losing data was only a small issue compared to the Holocaust. I cannot completely understand what the Jews, and others who were put into concentration camps, felt like. 

In fact, in this moment, the word concentration brings up two other definitions. One being packed tightly and the other actively working through thoughts and procedures in ones mind. I cannot manage my own realities all the time. Those who had their lives upended, their families attacked philosophically, as well as physically, is generally unnerving to me. I do understand that. I have not had to live with knowing a family member was brutally murdered, but I have had to live with the fact that my ex-wife poisoned me and molested my sons, only to see her rewarded by the State of Kansas with full custody and the child support that goes with that.

Beyond being attacked due to a religious identity, I know what it is like to be targeted for my identity, as a Man. I have committed no other crime. I am worthy of attack and discrimination because GOD gave me a penis. I guarantee, had the tables been turned, and I was accused of molesting a daughter, I would have been arrested and kept from that child until and IF she chose to see me as an adult. In our society, boys being violated by their mother is no big deal because males have no importance as people anyway. They have no feelings, nor are they allowed to. Many view men as the aggressors and it is acceptable to get them before they get you. At one time, it was normal for women to be considered second class citizens, but they fought for equality and men stepped back, deciding it was OK to let women feel a sense of self and acquire equality. It has since switched.

Once you gain the right or assume the power to stand for yourself; stand up the equality in all people. In our world of political correctness, the only people that have the right to fight to be noticed are women, people of color, and homosexuals. Male bashing is not considered a negative; it is viewed as humor. I am not here to say the LBGT community, people of color, nor women need to be pushed down. I am only saying nobody need be held down. I have held despair regarding the disparagement about males. It is time to do something different. It’s time to be different. I have been exhausted by the system. I cannot do this anymore. I have to go back inside myself to see where my data has been skewed. I need to understand if there is something I can do to straighten out a situation from something crooked, then I must take a stand. I do not yet know what all I might find. I do know that anything I do not like must be used as a guide to change.


Joel 1:10-14 Complete Jewish Bible

10The fields are ruined, the ground is grieving; for the grain is ruined, the new wine dried up, and the olive oil is wretched. 11Despair, you farmers; lament, vinedressers, over the wheat and the barley — the harvest from the fields is lost. 12The vines have withered, the fig trees wilted, also the pomegranate, date-palm and apple tree — all the trees in the fields have withered, and the people’s joy has withered away. 13Cohanim, put on sackcloth, and weep! Wail, you who serve at the altar! Come, lie in sackcloth all night long, you who serve my God! For the grain offering and drink offering are withheld from the house of your God. 14Proclaim a holy fast, call for a solemn assembly, gather the leaders and all who live in the land to the house of Adonai your God, and cry out to Adonai,


Like all people, what upsets, provides an opportunity to make a new choice. Sometimes the only choice is being willing to change. If had been acting in our best interest, the painful situation would not have become our current reality. We have to be willing to let go of anything that is not useful, even if it has been a strongly held belief. At times we have to be willing to let go of a person or a group of people. Being willing to give something up does not mean we lose anything, it is only a willingness to make that choice. There ends up being a definitive change, but loss is only in ones mind. Loss is the attachment to an object, person or belief. Those fears are not Godly, they are of a darker source.

I realized it is much easier to be willing to let go of everything  we stand to loose, to gain true clarity. Nothing lasts forever. All relationships end. Some by choice, others by attrition, and the remainder by death. All creation has a beginning, as well as an end. What we hold on to, too tightly is ultimately lost to us, but more painfully. Whatever we hold onto, while fearing it’s loss, we end up losing earlier than we might otherwise have chosen. We all know a person who spends time “keeping someone happy”. Keeping someone happy is holding on and is considered obsessive behavior. It is impossible to make anyone happy, we can only add to the happiness of someone who has already discovered it.

Obsession does not make anyone more happy. The loss of happiness takes years off our life. The person we are holding onto is not actually what or whom we choose to believe he or she is. We are holding onto fiction. We invented the picture of who they are within our minds. We are supplanting an image of who we want someone to be. Any time we are not willing to let go of another person, we have created a false image. When we are willing to let them go, we see the real person. When we are willing to let go of them and who we choose to believe they are, we find out who they are and what they really have to offer. We often find out the gifts and strengths we were overlooking or weaknesses added to them was not accurate. We were living a false reality to pacify our damaged inner child. Holding on to a false image is choosing a lie. Seek truth. 

I am currently writing this book

 

 

I invite you to listen to an interview I was involved with recently.
The interview lasts 60 minuites.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/being-with-ron-ash/2010/10/05/being-with-ron-ash

 

 

The article below I wrote to encourage those who have suffered loss. I like to say that I don't know everything, but what I know I am sure of. Mitch

 

From Grief to Recovery

Since we are here to share about recovery, I want to relate that recovery is not a dirty word. The dictionary definition that I want to share is: to regain strength, composure or balance, to regain in usable form; reclaim. That is what you want isn't it? I personally have experienced loss of health, miscarriage, divorce, losing custody of children, walking away from abusive parents, and separation from loved ones, besides death of friends and relatives. Lastly, the greatest loss to recover from is a nervous breakdown and the resulting altered reality, so if I survived, you too have hope. After loss it seems even more important to feel like we are in control and grieving does not feel like a part of that picture, does it? Your feelings may be intensified by expectations that you should be able to get through this quickly, or feeling depressed about being depressed makes you feel less worthy. Recovery is real, it happens, and it can take time, how much time depends on how you chose to approach it. First be patient with yourself, second ask yourself meaningful questions, and then be selective in who you share with and why.

There are several things to keep in mind on your recovery or healing journey. What you are going through is unique to you, even if someone else has gone through similar. It is OK to be in an unknown zone. Your history and how you process your emotions are unique to you, thus how you filter this grief is also. Nobody has the right to tell you how long you can grieve, including yourself. If you limit yourself or place expectations on where you "should" be you are limiting self awareness. It is very likely that up to now your inner strength has not been tested or proved to you by prior life experience. The key is to begin to understand your feelings. I like to call this process query. To query is to honestly question.

I am going to ask you to temporarily set aside what you have learned about your thoughts in relation to others. When you notice a thought cross your mind, let judgments go. This is really not about religious or social beliefs; it is about YOUR feelings. Thoughts are a result of feelings as much as feelings are a result of thoughts. I ask you to remember that we feel feelings and thing thoughts, we do not think feelings. Thoughts can and do exacerbate issues that already exist, however I am simply asking you to stop and say to yourself "Why do I think that? Why do I feel that? When did that belief start? Is that true? What can I learn from that? When you learn to query you are on your way.

Now think about creating new boundaries with those around you, this may sound like defeating behavior, it's not. There will be those around you that set expectations for you, your time, or tell you "what you need to do" and these people need to be distanced. Others will encourage you to talk about how "unfair" this is, get even further from these people. Remember some people are addicted to drama and will suck it up as long as you provide it. Again healing is a Choice and it is yours to make. You have the right to allow or refuse anyone information.

The people you chose to be around might be someone who just listens if they don't know how you feel, people that ask you to refocus on what IS important(your true feelings), and those who have experienced loss and provide suggestions based on what worked for them. In my times of grief people told me not to dwell on the loss and that upset me, and I'll share this, if a dwelling is where you live, do you wish to live in this grief? The only way the past helps you is when you are willing to ask yourself how it applies to the current issue. Don't misunderstand your feelings ARE TRUE AND VALID. It is the feelings that you need to resolve, not the "facts". The truth is subjective, not objective; it depends on your perspective. It is not so much what happens to us, but how we react and what we learn from it.

Where are you in your process? Don't worry, you don't have to have that answer right now, just begin to reflect on your inner self. One way to begin sifting through all your feelings or what feels like a lack there of, is to find a neutral space with paper and a writing utensil. Write down everything that comes to your mind without putting judgment on its merit or importance. Believe me if it comes to your mind with ease, it IS important. Keep writing until it becomes difficult to "think" of things to write. Your best answers come when you are out of your mind. As long as there is a free flow of ideas and feelings by all means, write. When tears come during this process be thankful, praise God that you can be present and in touch. If you know there are things there and you feel so numb that you cannot even begin to find the words, be patient with yourself, why add to your overwhelm? Pause and take deep breaths, tap on your collar bone, count to 10 slowly, say a prayer and unload your mind and heart to the God of your understanding. Give him an opportunity to "touch" you. If you, like many question the value of faith, try to allow the possibility that you misunderstood, that maybe it has less to do about God, and more to do with how information was processed in your youth. We all have a hurt child within us.

What you want is clarity even though you may not know it. With clarity comes self awareness and peace; that my friend IS where your loss becomes OPPORTUNITY. What opportunity? Your are seeing what strength you have and you will being to know yourself in ways you never even contemplated. What a concept huh? It was difficult for me to see that as having any value in grief recovery, but you know, it is. Since I have personally experienced loss in many ways I can understand doubt when it comes to see loss as opportunity. What if you decided that you could turn the idea of grief upside down?

Grief can also be described as LOSS, broken down: Lose or Sacrifice Self. When we deal with loss we indeed feel we have lost ourselves: Who am I now? Where do I belong? Where do I go now? What am I supposed to do? Will I ever be the same again? How can I go on? I can tell you that even though who you were or thought you were, that is changed; YOU can make it a change for the better. Mourn your loss; it would be inhumane to do otherwise. Give yourself credit for being able to recognize this as a loss. Whomever or whatever you lost is given value when you stop and see how this experience can make YOU better. If loss makes you bitter are you showing honor for the loss? Where does the sacrifice self come from. If you choose to stay in a negative mind set you really are sacrificing yourself. Sometimes people realize after they are grieving that they had been already sacrificing themself BEFORE suffering the current loss, and may have previously lost them self. Fortunately or unfortunately you now have a challenge to make decisions based on your situation. I have noticed that tragedy either brings families together or forces the need to change relationships, whatever is true for you, you will be able to survive and even thrive as you employ honest inquiry.

Another part of the process of creating meaning in your loss is to reach out, as I am, to help another to gain peace. You may not be ready for that for a while, but you can and often will feel lighter as you share your discovery with others. I talk to others about what their loss means, what earlier experience the current loss is related to and challenge them to seek a new perspective. I always make it clear that each person has feelings and their feelings are true and valid and always have been. I provide a hearing ear, a shoulder to cry on and a hug when needed. My secret in giving a hug is to add a silent "e", h-u-g-e.

 

 

 


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This is the next Non-Fiction title that I am planning to complete. It is intended to share ideas to women from a Male perspective. I hope to help women to see that WE men also have feelings and if a woman desires to strengthen her relationship with a male she will allow herself to contemplate what I share in the book.

I had not written for three months after I completed "CanSir: A Backward Path" due to having to bring up history to share it. I have no specific time fram for completion.

The book folowing that will be similar in purpose as the one pictured above except it is from a man to other males. I will be sharing things that I have learned about men from men that I spoke to while they were on my table. I will not name names, only ideas.

In creating both of these books I recognize that not all concepts will fall where the reader is and may in fact upset some. I don't have to be right, I only need to be honest about what I know to be true for myself and the men I learned from.

 

 

 
Want more information on changing your life? Call me at 918-899-3397
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